Clorox
by RK Ryune
Summary: AU, Bleach Crossover. A mysterious girl appears one night in Dib's room and turns his life upside down. Who is she? What are invaders? What is their concern with the human afterlife? And why is Zim inhabiting a plushie toy? Bad me, I wrote a DaTr with OOC
1. Chapter 1

Y'know how a fan fiction comes along and demands to be written? And then, after analysis, you think "No, this is horrible! I will never write that!" And then the story turns into an evil brain-thirsty monster and says "write me or die!"

Or maybe that's just me.

Anyhoo, this is one of those stories. I apologize for the DaTr and OOC right now, because I am usually opposed to that. But, as the original idea calls for it, then so be it.

I'll just use the "AU/Crossover" excuse.

So, with that, I bring you…

Clorox

The sun was setting; he had only been on his way home from skool, when he saw them. Three boys skateboarding.

"HEY! You can't just go around hitting Zooych like that!" screamed one of the punks in his face.

"You…" he mumbled, looking at something on the ground. "What do you call that?"

The pig-eyed boy followed his extended finger to see a shattered roadside cross. "Huh? Oh, that's a marker for some kid that died. Uh, sorry, I guess."

"Sorry?" He was becoming angry. "Then you better apologize to her!"

He jabbed his thumb over his shoulder to reveal the ghost of a girl behind him. The three boys stared at her in terror, then ran for their lives.

He turned to the girl, then reassembled her cross. "Sorry about that," he muttered, looking up at her through thick glasses.

"No, it's okay. Don't worry about it," she whispered, hovering a bit to his left.

"Hey," he said, standing up, brushing himself off. "You probably should pass on soon. Floating around here probably isn't that great."

She smiled, then vanished.

NAME: Dib Membrane

AGE: 15

HAIR: Black

EYES: Brown

OCCUPATION: Student

SPECIAL ABILITIES: He sees the paranormal.

"SON! You are two minutes late!" Dib was greeted by a thunderous admonition from his father the minute he entered the house.

"Dad, it's almost impossible to get here by 7:00 each night! Ms. Bitters doesn't even let us out until 6:45! Besides, no teenager should ever have to be home by 7!"

"That's no excuse!"

"I got caught up with something!"

"A ghost again?" His sister, Gaz, was sitting at the table, eating splodey beans with one hand, playing video games with the other.

"You see all of it too, Gaz! Explain it to him!" Dib said, leaning around his father's ominous figure to look at his sister.

"Yeah, but I don't believe in them."

"Now son, I understand that you think ghosts are real, but you really must stop chasing after them! People will think you're crazy! You tell him, daughter!"

Gaz opened one eye. "I'm in the middle of a boss level. Leave me alone."

There was a pause, then Professor Membrane stumbled over to a huge cryonic chamber with a purple-haired woman inside. "WHY, Patricia! Why did our children grow up so spiteful!" He leaned on the glass and sobbed.

"That jar… is really creepy," Dib muttered to himself. He grabbed a bowl of splodey beans and headed upstairs to his room.

Once there, he set the beans on his desk and leaned back on his bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking about the girl from earlier. He was about to doze off when a purple swallowtail butterfly flittered in through the window.

Dib stared at it for a moment, then gasped in awe as a girl emerged from his wall. She narrowed her purple eyes, then whispered "It's close…"

"HEY!" Dib shouted, trying to figure out who she was. She ignored him, so he threw a glass of water at her to get her attention. The water singed her skin and she yelped in pain, turning to face him.

"You… you threw water at me?" she stammered.

"Um, yeah. You walk into my room, completely ignore me, and then say 'it's close'? Who are you?"

She stared at him for a moment, then edged up to him. "You can see me?"

Dib didn't respond, only called "DAD! There's a burglar up here!"

Professor Membrane burst through the door, wielding a kitten with lasers coming out of one eye. "WHERE?" he demanded.

Dib merely pointed at the strange girl with purple eyes and hair. Membrane stared at what he perceived to be empty air, then left the room, muttering "my poor insane son," to himself.

The girl smirked. "Ordinary humans can't see me. What does that make you?"

Dib only stared at her, his head full of questions. The intruder sighed, then stepped around Dib. He blocked her.

"Oh, a difficult one, eh? Well, then…" she pulled a strange-looking device out of the silver and purple backpack she wore, and threw it at Dib. Suddenly, he was in a very awkward position, unable to move.

"A binding trap. Very useful."

"Wait!" Dib called. "What are you doing here? What do you mean normal humans can't see you?"

She smiled, a bit evilly. "I am an Invader."

"Huh?"

"Long ago, my race used to live on the same plane of existence as humans. We were almost invincible. But then, as we neared total galactic conquest, a race of beings known as the Meekrob imprisoned us to the plane of the afterlife."

"So… you're ghost aliens?"

She stared at him for a beat then continued. "In the afterlife, we were given a choice. Protect humans from evil spirits, and help the good ones to what you might call heaven. We call it The Massive."

"So… what does Invader have anything to do with ghosts?"

"Originally, Invaders were a class of warriors. Now, we protect. Ah…"

She whipped out a gun-type device and pointed it at Dib. "Don't move," she demanded, then fired about three inches to the left of his head.

Dib stared in shock, as a ghost had just materialized next to him. He gasped as the ray burned a mark into the man's head, and then he vanished.

"That one, " she smirked, "was just sent to The Massive."

Dib looked this strange person up and down. She looked human enough, with bluish-purple hair, lots of makeup and purple eyes. But she was dressed somewhat oddly. She was wearing boots that came up to her thighs. Her shirt looked like a cross between a dress and a tailcoat. Black gloves covered her arms up to her elbows. But strangest of all was that purple and silver backpack.

A deafening screech filled the air.

The Invader's eyes widened in shock. "The Slaughterer! It's here!"

She then leapt out of Dib's window, carrying a staff of what looked to be pure energy.

Dib struggled a bit with the bindings, then hollered after her "What's a Slaughterer!"

All right. First chapter out of my system. The demanding of the brain-thirsty idea will not likely stop until around chapter 5 or so. Mmyep. So be patient. I am going somewhere with this.


	2. Chapter 2

Yeah! I got three reviews! Woohoo!

That is way better than I expected, you know.

CLOROX+

The Invader leapt out of Dib's window, just in time to see the monstrous slaughterer getting ready to eat Gaz. She was hanging limply in its deformed hand, which was covered in bites and bruises. Obviously, Gaz hadn't given up without a fight.

Professor Membrane lay on the other side of the wall, visible through the gigantic hole. He was unconscious.

Just then, Dib ran down the stairs to see the Invader, the Slaughterer and his family. He stared for a few seconds, then screamed "Oh man! WHAT IS THAT!"

The Invader's attention snapped his direction. He was pointing at the giant rat-like beast, which had a black mask with white markings over it's face. "That, human," she barked, "is a Slaughterer. It is a monster from the spiritual plane that seeks out humans with high spirit levels and tries to eat their souls. Obviously, it was after you." She gestured to the claw marks that ran from just under Dib's window down to where the hole was.

She started. "How did you break the binding trap?" _There's no way he's that strong… only the highest ranked Invaders can do that!_

Dib saw Gaz in the monster's paw. "GAZ!" he cried, then rushed forward. The Slaughterer, realizing that a better meal was coming towards it, lunged forward, jaws wide open, ready to feed. Dib stopped dead in his tracks, realizing that he was powerless to stop this monster.

He closed his eyes, waiting to die — and then felt blood splash onto his face.

He opened one eye, and saw her. The Invader had thrown herself into the Slaughterer's jaws to save him.

The rat monster reeled back, howling in rage. She limped towards a light post, then slumped onto the ground. She was bleeding profusely from one shoulder. Dib rushed to her side.

"Hey, why did you…"

She cut him off. "Do you want to save your family?"

"Huh? Of course I do!"

"Then…" she paused, looking away, then faced him again. "Turn around."

"Why?"

"Because in order for you to save your family, you must become an Invader!"

"What!"

"Do you or don't you?"

"I do!"

"Then turn around. I'm giving you an auxiliary pak. I'm then going to download half of my data into it so you can finish this monster off." While she spoke, Dib could feel her drilling, attaching, doing things to his back.

"I'm about to connect the cable. Are you ready, human?"

"Dib," he muttered.

"Eh? What's that?"

"My name's Dib," he said, turning his neck to face her.

She smiled. "I'm Tak. Are you ready?"

He nodded. With that, she attached the cable. There was a blinding flash, and suddenly…

Dib stood in the middle of the street holding a scythe-like energy weapon. His pak gleamed silver and blue in the moonlight, his trench coat flapped behind him. His shirt logo had been replaced by the Invader insignia.

But most noticeable of all…

"I have never seen an Invader that tall…" mumbled Tak, awed. She then looked down at herself, shocked. She had only intended to transfer half of her training, half of her data and skill – but Dib had absorbed all of it. She was no more powerful than a regular human soul. She looked up at Dib. In the Massive society, the height of each Invader indicated how powerful he was. Dib was now easily 6'3" or 6'4"… only a few inches shorter than the Tallest themselves.

She was ripped out of her reverie as Dib let out a bloodcurdling yell and charged toward the Slaughterer. He slammed the energy-blade into the monster's mask, which shattered. The blade then sliced the rat-beast clean down the middle. And then, with a puff of air, it vanished.

Dib looked over at Tak, panting. He could not believe what had just happened. He looked down at his black-gloved hands, and back at her. He then passed out.

**Name: Dib Membrane  
Age: 15  
Hair: Black  
Eyes: Brown  
Occupation: Student and...**

**INVADER **

CLOROX+

Note: "Invaders" in this story look human! They just have paks and uniforms – once upon a time they were aliens, but now they look human!

So Dib is not Irken in this! Just to clarify.


	3. Chapter 3

Whoa! The few reviews I'm getting say this is good. So… I'm gonna keep going.

Note: The Bleach cast is WAY larger than the IZ cast. However, the Jhonen-verse cast? Not one bit. This is where the OOC comes in. I'll keep things as much in character as I can, but circumstances will not always allow it… so be kind. I'm always up for a good round of flaming, but personal attacks will not be tolerated. Criticism good, being a jerk bad.

**_CLOROX_  
**

Dib woke up the next morning, his entire body sore. He rubbed his eyes, and the back of his head. _What a crazy dream_… he thought to himself. It sure had been crazy, with the girl in his room, the rat-monster, the bit about Invaders…

His hand, which had been scratching the back of his neck, moved down his back and hit something. Dib's eyes snapped open.

The pak.

The pak was still on his body.

Which meant…

He ran downstairs, throwing his clothes on as he went. Just as he was tugging his trench coat on (which surprisingly, went UNDER the pak) he saw the kitchen wall.

The hole from last night was still there.

"… Imagine, a truck running through our wall like that and us sleeping through it." Membrane was examining the damage, while small robots began repairing around it.

Gaz made a non-committal sound as she ate her Frankenchokies.

"Dad! Last night! The monster, and the Invader, and-"

"Now, son, this is no time for your crazy parascience talk. A truck ran through our front wall last night!"

Dib's shoulders sagged. Leave it to his family to not remember anything.

He finally entered the classroom at brunch, around 10:30. "Dib!" barked Ms. Bitters, "you're late. AGAIN! What's your excuse this time?"

"Don't have one," he said dejectedly as he slid down into his seat. The teacher scowled, hissed, then went back behind her desk.

A shadow fell over Dib. "Late again, huh?" He turned around, and looked up into the face of a girl with two hot pink ponytails. Her angular face in his, she cocked her head to one side. "You're gonna get detention one of these days, you know."

"Nice to see you too, Devi," he grumbled, turning to face the other way. But instead of being able to sulk, he was startled as a rubber skeleton was shoved into his face. The hand holding it began squeezing the crap out of it, making an incessant squeaking without end.

"Tenna, one of these days you are going to find Spooky in a garbage can. Without his head."

Tenna turned to Devi, grinning. "Aw, you need to get out more. Hey, what did you bring for lunch?"

Devi just stared at her, unblinking.

"Oh, right. Hey, Dib!" Tenna turned again to face him. "Didja know we have a new student?" She pulled a short girl from somewhere else and plonked her in front of Dib. "Her name's Tak!"

Dib's jaw dropped. The invader from last night – Tak – was HERE. In school. She extended a hand to him. "Nice to meet you," she said, smiling a bit. He reached out to shake her hand, when he saw what she had written on it.

_Say anything and you will face your doom._

She had included a little scary-happy face.

Sweating, Dib shook her hand. "Nice to meet you to, uh, Tak."

"Great!" shrieked Tenna. "Now that we all know each other, we can go get some noodles after school!"

Before anyone could respond, a large shadow came behind Dib. He turned around, and brightened a bit.

"Hey guys," he said, facing his friends (if you could call them that. Truth be told, they were particularly harsh on him in elementary Skool. But things had gotten better as everyone had learned self-control by high skool.) He turned back to Tak, gesturing at the three boys. "Umm…" he began, "Tak, I'd like you to meet Smacky, Melvin, and The Letter M."

She raised an eyebrow. "Those are your names?"

Smacky snorted. "Tsh… yeah. So?"

Their conversation was interrupted by a harsh cough from Ms. Bitters. Brunch was over.

After school, Dib and Tak walked towards his house. "Okay, I don't want to sound rude, but why are you here, Tak?"

"Because you took my power. I can't return to the Massive without it. So, because of that, I'm being forced to stay in a fake body. Not exactly pleasant for me, you know." She cast him a side-long glance. "I can't do my job at all, not while you have my powers."

"Well, that sucks."

"Which is why you are going to do my job for me." And without warning, she jammed on black, fingerless glove with a red Irken insignia on it, and rammed her hand into Dib's chest. With a brilliant flash, Dib's body and spirit separated. The normal Dib fell to the ground with a thud. The Invader Dib stared in awe at his body, and then realized he was now towering over Tak's 4'11" frame.

"Whoa! Wait, what did you do?" he exclaimed, glancing around somewhat frightened.

"You are going to be an Invader while I can't."

"I never agreed to that!"

"You agreed to take my download!"

"Only for last night, to save my family! Not to do YOUR job!"

"You mean you can just sit by and watch innocent ghosts get eaten alive?"

"Well…"

"Dib. If you are going to have my power, you WILL save every ghost and destroy every Slaughterer I tell you to. If not, then give it back to me."

"I WOULD, if I knew how!"

A shriek pierced the air. The ghost from the day before came running around the corner, a chain dangling from a grommet in her chest. She was pursued by a larger, more ferocious slaughterer than the one Dib had destroyed previously. He whipped out the energy weapon, and activated the spider-legs in his Pak. But before he could rise off the ground and swing into action, Tak grabbed his shoulder.

"Don't. Unless you are going to save EVERYONE, you can't save her."

"But she's in trouble!"

"Do you think that you can pick and choose who you save? Do you think you can only do this when it's convenient to you? Do you? Choose, Dib."

He paused, sucked in a breath, then batted Tak's hand off his shoulder. The spider-legs extended, and he leapt towards the Slaughterer. The execution was brief.

The trembling girl ghost he had just saved timidly stepped towards him. "Thank you, Mister," she mumbled.

"Hey. I told you to pass on, didn't I?" Dib smiled a bit, then took out the sealing gun. "Be happy, okay?" He then fired, and she disappeared in a mist of white light.

Tak smiled. "You do that very nicely."

**_CLOROX_**

Another chapter, done! Review, my review faithful!

And Dibsthe1… thank you so much. Your reviews make me so happy. This chapter is for you, mi amiga.


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